The hatred in my heart for them.

After all my years of darkness I've come to love the light. The light where the truth seems to cruel from underneath the rocks. I spent so much of my like trying to pretend I was something I wasn't. But leaving here in los angeles has had it's good with the bad. It's hard not turning this new found freedom unto darkness. I have come to realize I have hate in my heart for black people they make me sick to look at. I've come to realize they are very mean and stupid race of people. I know it's crazy considering that I'm one of them. I have had to fight this hatred that seems to be trying to open me wide open. I started being bullied by them from the time I was a kid. calling me faggot, trying to be a white boy. I've had to fight them so many times it's horrible. I'm still being bullied by them every where I go in los angeles. No matter what I'm wearing or doing they seem to bully me. Now it's by grown black folks and it seems to have gotten worse since moving here to los angeles. I don't know what to do and I feel I'm seconds away from getting me a gun and killing any black person that cross my path. I have so much hate in my heart I wish I was white and in government because I would do everything I could do to make life helll from them. I would cut all walfare, make not paying child support make it a high crime and lock them up for life. Stop all support for aids and just let them bastards die! But I know it will get better and I have to believe that because if I didn't I really believe I would go out and try to kill about 100 or more before the cops would take me out. It does get better.